We don’t know which day will be the last one we are needed to tie our child’s shoes. Or teach them how to ride a bike. Or make them look both ways before they cross the street. One day they just do it themselves. As parents we notice, and we know how it feels.
I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve said “You’re old enough to know how to do this” while simultaneously feeling satisfaction that they do not, in fact, know how to do it. They need me to show them. That is how parenting works. Teaching our kids to need us less while being terrified that one day they won't need us at all.
And when something hurts them, or someone does, there’s that pull to fix it. To tell them everything will be okay, whether it will be or not. We want to swoop in and solve their problems while wanting them to be able to solve their own problems.
Being a parent is a bundle of contradictions. Push and pull. Competing objectives dancing on the head of a pin. It’s a wonder any of us get it right. But the joy comes from the same place as the sorrow: the journey, not the destination. So perhaps the point is to raise our kids into people who won’t really need us, but who will show us the grace to make us believe they do.